I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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