There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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