Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
