i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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