I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
