So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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