well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
