i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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