I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
