There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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