Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
