I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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