his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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