Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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