i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
