This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
