I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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