I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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