Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
