I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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