I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
