True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I just sharted jello shots
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
