It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
