Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
