I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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