I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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