No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
