Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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