He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Randomize
