In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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