Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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