My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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