Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
