google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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