yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
