Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
