i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
