States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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