you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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