I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
