It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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