They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
