I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize