Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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