my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
