i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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