she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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