I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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