batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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