Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think people are normalizing furries
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
