I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
