What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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