Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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