Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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