it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize