I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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