Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
